No one’s seriously complaining about the result.

It could have been different, if we’d taken a better corner in stoppage time, but that isn’t down to bad luck, it was poor execution. It also could have been different if the two players who were supposed to be starting, but were stuck in traffic, had turned up on time. Without knowing the precise circumstances, that isn’t really down to bad luck either.

You can surmise who was stuck by looking at the half-time subs, but turning up isn’t just about getting there on time. In the equivalent fixture last season Gravesend capitulated after an even first half hour, but last night they played like a team who’d actually been paid on time and seemed quicker to every second ball, in the first half at least.

They weren’t that much better. Riley Court had an early free-kick that went maybe a yard over after he’d been taken out on the edge of the box. The opening goal came after Lenny Holden spilled a volley. He probably didn’t see the initial shot, but having got his body behind it he dropped it and Gbadebo was the first to react.

Boateng headed over and Court shot wide, but at half-time it felt like the Fleet were in control and there was some relief that it was only 1-0. We looked far more ‘with it’ at the start of the second and it helped that we were attacking the Elvis End, but after a header from Fowler looped on to the top of the bar, Court was subbed off, having been shown a yellow for a tackle so late it might have been the visitors’ accounts: Kennedy shoved him over in the aftermath and that might have spared him, but it looked like a matter of time before he’d see red.

Taking him off made sense, but if losing our star boy arrested the momentum, a minute later they killed it off with a second goal, Ogunleye scoring from an acute angle with a shot that seemed to go through Holden’s legs.

Moments later Leahy found himself in a similar situation at the other end, but unlike Ogunleye he had Leech running into space in a more central position. Leahy shot anyway and Buse, who presumably isn’t nicknamed ‘Rodney’, saved it.*

It was tetchy. Their fans sang: ‘Maidstone’s a shithole, I wanna go home’ and the Self-Awareness Police made 394 arrests. Craig Fagan got into arguments with both their fans and their bench.

The game was drifting when Jayden Davis provided an adrenaline shot, bursting through one-on-one and burying a volley, but with the Elvis End now rocking and the Fleet visibly panicking every time we went forward, we blew it in the second of the six added minutes.

Davis took a corner that went to the near post when it needed to be in the mixer. It was cleared to Harvey Walker, who burst down the right flank and settled the issue. Overall, the scoreline didn’t really flatter them. They were more professional and more clinical.

So why is there a just a bit of ‘Dame Judi’ lingering? Well, there was one area where Maidstone were unlucky and that was the timing. Gravesend were unbeaten coming into this and they’re now a point clear of Truro, having played a game less (fewer? Fuck it, who cares) than everyone else.

And that’s the problem. They were allowed to start the season six games after everyone else because they were apparently at death’s door and yet here they are, back from the non-league equivalent of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary, with a squad so strong there are players on their bench who would walk into most sides in this division and an owner with a profile so low he makes Howard Hughes look like Lorraine Kelly.

Walker, for example, was signed from Slough in June 2026, during the transfer window. At Stonebridge Road that means “between embargoes”.

*Cultural reference for the kids.